Sixteen 16-year-old Wendy is curious revolutionary. In all her young years she has never seen her parents work. In fact, when work is mentioned all she hears is one excuse after another. All her friends have parents that work. Some do important jobs. But a job is a job. So, to be a radical thinker and activist she wants some answers. Wendy is keen to be seen as the millennial revolutionary

She begins by asking her mama and papa at breakfast:

Wendy: Mommy, why don’t you and Daddy go to work like Lisa’s mommy and daddy.

Mommy: Because we don’t need to

Wendy: Why’s that mommy, are you disabled in any way?

Mommy: Because we’re special cases

Wendy: What do you mean?

Daddy: Well you see. Mommy and Daddy are intelligent, but there are no jobs for us out there. We’re too clever for most jobs. The government can’t find mommy and daddy a job relevant to match our intelligence

Mommy: That’s right because we’re so clever people we can’t work and earn thousands like Lisa’s parents.

Wendy: Aren’t people responsible for finding their own jobs. Why does the government need to find you a job?

Daddy: Because only the government has such jobs and there’s a long waiting list for jobs for clever people

Wendy: So, you can’t work because you’re too clever?

Mommy: yes, so the people who are not so clever go to work and pay taxes. The government pays us money from those taxes to compensate us because there is no work. So, for not working we get a free house, free medical care, free schooling and if we have more children the more benefits we get.

Wendy: Are the working people not going to get mad at that. they work and pay for everything you get for free

Mommy: No Wendy that will be called welfare and class discrimination. There are laws in place to stop such discrimination

Wendy: When I get older I will pass my A’ Levels, go to university to find a job and pay my fair share

Mommy: that’s up to you. But if I were you, I’d find a boyfriend and have a baby in your early teens

Wendy: Why?

Mommy: because then you get everything for free and you won’t need to work while you bring up baby. The state will take care of you.

Wendy: I want to work and buy a big house and enjoy holidays and be with my friends

Mommy: Very ambitious darling. But why work when you can get everything for free

Wendy: Do you and daddy have lots of money

Mommy: most of the time we live on tick

Wendy: What is tick?

Mommy: Credit, we have credit with every store in the village, and how do you think we pay for your holidays?

Wendy: I don’t know

Mommy: with a credit card. We can’t have all your schoolmates going on holiday and you miss out

Wendy: How do you repay it?

Mommy: it doesn’t matter if we can’t, you see because everything else in the house belongs to someone else. The 55-inch TV belongs to Uncle Jeff, the Hi-Fi belongs to Uncle Wills, the three laptops we use, including yours, belongs to Aunty Jean, the Sky subscription is paid for by us, so that can’t be taken and the equipment belongs to Sky. So, if the money men came to collect from us we have nothing for them, so, the debt is written off. That’s why we’re clever.

Wendy: Lisa’s parent don’t have a big TV and I’ve heard her dad say they can’t afford Satellite TV and a big computer. He also wants a new car to get to work but can’t afford one. He was asking me how we could afford it all while we’re on benefits. Her dad said he was considering giving up work because it is obvious we have more money than they do and I heard him tell his wife that you and dad sit on your fat arses every day. He would like to join ‘the something for the free economy’ where you sit on your arse, do nothing and get everything given to you.

Mommy: what a nasty man for saying such a thing to you. We pay our dues and we get what we’re entitled to.

Wendy: what dues do you pay?

Mommy: we report every two weeks to the Jobcentre, fill in all the forms as they ask and complete a list of all the jobs we’ve applied for. They stamp our cards to be sure we get what we’re entitled too.

Wendy: I though entitlement came with responsibility for doing what is right and working to help pay for all the services we receive

Mommy: entitlement is open to everyone regardless of what they do. Rich folk work, pay taxes, we collect the benefit of their hard work without the stress and bullshit.

Wendy: Well, I would still like to earn my money and pay my way.

Daddy: So, when you become successful, but not as clever as mommy and daddy will we get money from you?

Wendy: thinks awhile. No. You won’t. Why should I go out, meet my daily expenses, pay my taxes and then give you both money you’ll waste

Daddy: What are you saying, that you won’t help your parent’s in time of need?

Wendy: As you said, you’re very clever people. So, why don’t you work it out for yourselves?