Writer 201 | How did we ever manage without them?

How did we ever cope without them? They are everywhere; you cannot miss them. What am I talking about . . .  Yes,   it is the mobile phone. Whoooopeee.

They come with features galore which leads me to suggest some mobiles are smarter than the people who own them. Before you start saying hey now slow down bonny lad that’s quite an insult.

Well is it? Not necessarily. But we’ll get there soon enough

I meet a friend at a local pub. I buy the drinks and return to the table to find she is in conversation with her daughter because they have not spoken for a few days. I mean you’ve had all morning to call her, why wait until we get to the pub.

I had another friend who has since migrated to Australia, and he did the same. We’d get to the pub, buy our pints and then he dashes outside as he had to make a quick call. Thirty minutes later while I am tapping an empty glass, he returns.

If you are going to meet up with friends for a social drink, make your phone calls before you meet up. Leave your mobile at home. There is nothing more irritating than someone engaged in a mobile call when they should be talking to you!

What about these types who use public transport and play games on the phones? You can hear the ping, doing, bang bang bang, Duh. If you have a set of earphones, then use them.  Keep the irritating sounds to yourself. Worse still are those who conduct a conversation which all other passengers can hear. Oh for goodness sake shut it up. We don’t need to know who is shagging who and who was done up like a kipper. Have consideration for others.

The mobile user who forgets where they are as 110% of their attention is on their mobile. Their mobile suddenly rings and they come to a halt on the pavement meaning someone inevitably walks into them. Worse still are those in shopping aisles who stop mid-aisle and cause a shopping trolley jam. When you ask to get by they look at you, shrug their shoulders and carry on talking. MORONS.

There is nothing more dangerous than someone using a mobile while driving. It must go to top the list for moronic acts. I had one such incident whereby the MORON in the Range Rover bumped into me. I could see him using a mobile phone. When he got to me, the mobile was gone. Driving while holding your mobile is stupid because you could end up injuring or killing someone and you could end up in hospital, or worse still, in the morgue

Have you been to a concert where people insist on getting out their mobiles to take photos or record their favourite song? Hoi moron I’m right behind you, and you are blocking my view. Do me a favour, put your mobile away so I can see the artist in question and enjoy the concert.

If you have tickets to see a West End play why to spoil it by not turning off your phone. What is so important that you cannot switch your mobile off for two hours? Should it go off, not only have you spoilt the enjoyment of those around you but the actor might have something to say. One such story emerged in the press about a woman whose mobile shrilled prompting the actor to stop mid flow. She killed the call allowing the actor to resume. Her phone went off again prompting an angry response from the actor.

She explained later that she had a relative who was close to dying and was waiting to hear the news. Hey lady, if that was the case why were you not at the bedside of your relative instead of disturbing the peace at Top West End London play?

One day while walking into Town I saw two young ladies trying to push their car off a busy roundabout. I checked the traffic ready to rush over and help when the driver suddenly dived into the car and then scrambled out holding her mobile in a conversation. There she stood in the middle of the roundabout holding a conversation as vehicles began to queue. That was when I noticed a very angry looking police officer running towards them. I didn’t hang around to watch. But please. Show some common sense.

Okay, so that’s my list of stupid, inconsiderate, rude, and downright nonsensical things that people do with the fantastic piece of technology that is the smartphone. I work on the maxim never do anything or expose people to anything that you would find irritating.

Seminar over!